idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
