its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
