she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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