Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
