does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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