dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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