ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
