just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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