this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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