My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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