Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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