I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize