i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
