4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
