i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
