my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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