I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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