Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize