So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
