Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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