sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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