Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
