I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
