I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you have feelings for this penis?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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