I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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