after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
