you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
