Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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