I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
sarcasm needs its own font
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
