almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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