I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
