he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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