I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
