Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
