We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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