so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
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you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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