I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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