its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
