And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
