i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
