pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
