Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I would ride that face into the sunset
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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