Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
