And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
