tell your sister to shave her snatch
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
