Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
