isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
