I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
