She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
