His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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