So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
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Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
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I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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