I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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