I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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