Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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