Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize